I’ve let myself slip into the mire of Supermarket Britain

Upon perusing my bank statement this morning, I discovered an alarming and,  frankly, quite frightening thing.  My account details hadn’t been stolen.  My card hadn’t been copied and used to purchase 7000 copies of Grizzly Guys magazine or purchase me that Thai Bride I’ve always dreamed of. The problem was this…

My last 12 transactions over a 12 day period read:

Morrison, ASDA, Morrison, Morrison, Morrison, Sainsbury, Tesco, Sainsbury, Morrison, Sainsbury, Morrison, Morrison.

Now if you didn’t count that one of these transactions was for petrol after I’d been to the supermarket, the mathematically astute of you would already know that it pretty much means I go to the supermarket EVERY DAY!

This is a sorry state of affairs for two reasons; 1. Because my life seems to involve nothing else but visiting the scourge of local business (I really need to start treating myself a little), and 2. I’ve allowed myself to slip into this mire.

I think the biggest problem I have with this situation is that I’ve let myself slide into a comfort zone, letting the ‘big four’ provide for me, with no real regard for local businesses or the people who run them.  Worse than this is that I’m sure I’m not the only one.  I can imagine that this has happened to thousands of people in a time where local businesses need us more than ever.

It’s not too much effort for me to drive to Bath Road to go to the butcher, or to visit my local farm shop (where I’ve actually found that a lot of things are cheaper) to make a few odd purchases.  Hell, I might even find that I get to know the proprietor rather than just see a bunch of nametags whose only care is their next pay cheque.

It’s not new year but consider this my resolution; To go out of my way, out of my comfort zone, to make sure that local #glosbiz get some of my custom, and I hope you try to do the same.

P.S. Ignore the Google Ad that will no doubt appear below linking to Ocado or something. It’s against message!

Pointless products

First of all apologies to anyone that’s seen this advert and thought the exact same thing as me, as I only saw it for the first time recently.

Dettol no-touch handwash system.

The advert claims that this ‘product’ stops the spread of germs because you don’t have to touch your regulation pump to dispense soap. Never mind the fact that you’re ABOUT TO WASH YOUR HANDS ANYWAY!

But anyways, scaremongering hygiene persists aside, it led me to think of some other completely useless products. Here they are in no particular order…

1. Electronic pepper mill…with light.

“The Cole & Mason Manhattan Electronic Mill features a built in light which illuminates the grinding area making it even easier to add seasoning to your food. The mill is battery operated which enables you to simply press the button on the side to grind.”

This product is not only aimed at the type of person who is too lazy to grind their own pepper, but also the type of person who tends to eat their dinner in the dark, therefore requiring the ability to illuminate the area they wish to pepper. Let’s just hope they have a fork equipped with a similarly useful light to help them when they aren’t seasoning their microwave dinner for one.

2. Slipper Dusters

So you’re walking around your house/flat/bedsit/cardboard box when you notice that a thick layer of dust has built up on your floor…in fact it’s got so bad it’s up to your knees, dust everywhere! No? Just me then.

Obviously the answer is slipper dusters. Because socks just don’t cut the dusting chores. So now you’ve cleaned up your dusty hovel (we’ll assume carpets don’t exist) and you want to relax with your feet up and oh no! You’ve just put dust all over your sofa. Never mind, you’ll just have to buy some duster trousers to clean up that mess. Or just buy a vacuum cleaner like any normal person.

I’m still waiting for slipper mops, slipper chamois leathers and slipper paintbrushes.

Even for the damned cat.

There seems to be a theme of laziness running through these products. In fact laziness is so prevalent it doesn’t run, just enjoys a gentle stroll in a mobility scooter.

3. Motorised Ice Cream Cone

The only people who could possibly benefit from a motorised ice cream cone would realistically be those without the core use of their wrists, however the true market seems to be those too lazy to rotate their own Mr. Whippy. These lazy children are probably too lethargic to even swallow, allowing the melting ice cream to drip slowly down their neck whilst simultaneously cursing their luck that their isn’t a product to make swallowing less strenuous.

See also the motorised fork. (For noodles of course, although it doesn’t come with a torch).

So that’s four completely pointless products to make your life easier. I would have listed more but there’s not a product to do it for me and frankly I’m far too lazy.

Joe

McDonalds setting an example to businesses everywhere?

Now i’m not usually one to praise the multinational monster that is McDonalds, the obesity peddling heart attack machine that they are, but something jumped to my attention recently that is worthy of mine, and local businesses attention.

It’s April, and Foursquare users are celebrating Foursquare day. Mcdonalds (and many other businesses) look to take advantage by randomly offering 100 $5 and $10 vouchers to Foursquare checkins. This totalled a marketing spend of a miserly $1000 (for a multi-billion dollar corporation) and let to an increased footfall of 33%!

Check out the blog entry at http://bit.ly/a5AHVF

It only really sparked my interest after noting the increase in popularity of Foursquare, particularly in my native cheltenham – soon to attempt to unlock the UK’s first SuperSwarm badge http://foursquarestival.co.uk/super-swarm-uk/ – where it seems to be taking off big time (at least from what i’ve seen on Twitter).

Have any local businesses had any success like this using Foursquare or other social media? I’d be intrigued to find out. Are there any other fantastic social networking success stories out there?

Joe